Punch Lines

While experiencing a bit of writer's block, and with the help of the Goddess of Love, Gabrielle recounts a day of mayhem and madness ... Gabrielle makes a few bets she can't collect on. Xena gets a bit cranky. Argo loses a few pounds. And, a few 'inner children' are set free.

Gabs with Bardic Block
Gabrielle: " ‘It was the kind of night where you could feel time flow over you, like the amnesiatic waters of the River Styx' ... (crumple) ... that is terrible ... ‘amnesiatic'? I don't think that's a word ... this doesn't work either ... (crumple) ... oh, here we go ... uh, no ... hm-mmm, oh, yeah, this is so good ... mm, no it's not ... (crumple) ... who am I kidding?!"

Aphrodite: "Boo!"
Gabrielle: "Aphrodite?"
Aphrodite: "Can't sleep, huh?"
Gabrielle: "You scared me."
Aphrodite: "Sorry, I didn't know I had to knock in my own temple."
Gabrielle: "You don't, but can you just keep it down? I don't want to wake Xena."
Aphrodite: "Pregnant girl needs her rest, huh? I remember when Cupid was on his way --"
Gabrielle: "Uh ... doesn't a god of your obvious stature have anything better to do than hang out here in the middle of the night?"
Aphrodite: "Owee! What's with the attitude? I let you sleep in my temple. I show real concern for your insomnia. And you treat me like I'm a rash where the sun don't shine."
Gabrielle: "I didn't mean to be rude. I-I don't want to bother you with my troubles."
Aphrodite: "Sweet Pea ... I am immortal, you know? I got nothing but time."

The doctor is in!
Aphrodite: "The doctor is in!"
Gabrielle: "You see these? These are my scrolls. I wrote them. I wrote all of them. It's like a diary of my travels with Xena. When I wrote them, I just -- felt so complete. I don't know why I stopped."
Aphrodite: "Hmm."

Gabrielle: "Something keeps telling me that I have to start writing again."
Aphrodite: "Well, why don't you?"
Gabrielle: "It's not that easy. I don't have time for it for one thing."
Aphrodite: "Tell me how you would write about today."
Gabrielle: "You mean, if I could?"
Aphrodite: "Well?"
Gabrielle: "Well ... today started like any other day. Xena, Joxer and I were trying to find a name for Xena's baby. I came up with the best one ..."

How about the name ‘Rochelle'?
Gabrielle: "How about the name ‘Rochelle'?"
Xena: "And have her called "Roach" for short? I don't like that."

Joxer: "How do you guys know it's going to be a girl? Maybe, it will be a boy."
Gabrielle: "Alright, how about ‘Aloysius'?"
Xena: "That's not funny."
Gabrielle: "It was a thought."

Gabrielle: "I'm glad we're almost to Pelos. I know someone who's getting a little hungry."
Joxer: "Oh, Pregnant Woman's hungry -- there's news ... Ow!"
Gabrielle: "And cranky."
Xena: "Cranky? I haven't been cranky in years. Joxer, have you ever seen me cranky?"
Joxer: " ..."
Gabrielle: "Tell the truth, Joxer."

Xena: "You listen to me, Monkey-Man. You ever do that again and you'll find my fist down your throat." -- Fins, Femmes & Gems

Joxer: "I always wanted to be and uncle ... hello there, Little Fella! ... Ow!" -- Animal Attraction

Joxer: "You think you could cut me down without dropping me flat on my face?"
Xena: "No." -- Intimate Stranger

So, have you?
Xena: "So, have you?"
Joxer: "... No."
Gabrielle: "Cop-out."

Gabrielle: "Alright, Xena, it's not your fault, with your condition and all."
Xena: "You're patronizing me. Gabrielle, I am in full control of my mood swings."
Gabrielle: "You wanna bet?"
Xena: "Anything you name."
Gabrielle: "How about a month of cooking and cleaning that you can't go a whole day without losing your temper."
Xena: "You throw in backrubs and you got a deal."
Gabrielle: "Deal."

Gabrielle: "In the spirit of friendship, I will take the horses to the river. You can have lunch in town."
Joxer: "I'll help you."
Gabrielle: "Joxer, you have to stay with Xena -- not that I don't trust you."
Xena: "Alright, Gabrielle. You take good care of my baby. Make sure you rinse her with cold water and hitch her to something. She'll probably come looking for me -- not that I don't trust you. I just don't want anything to happen that might make me mad"
Gabrielle: "It doesn't take a genius to wash a horse."
Xena: "Well, it'll come in handy for all those backrubs you're gonna give me ... (to Joxer) ... Come on, Dummy."

Gabrielle: "Did you hear that? Xena telling me how to bathe you. What do I add? Water? She must think I'm like Joxer or something. Xena doesn't do any cleaning. Have you smelled her feet lately?"

What happened to you?!
Argo: "Neigh!"
Gabrielle: "What happened to you?!"

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