Punch Lines
- Page 3 -

Aphrodite: "So, you shrunk her horse and then you lost him? So what?"
Gabrielle: "So what?! Do you know how important Argo is to Xena? I think she likes that horse more than she likes me. I can't count the number of times Argo has saved Xena ... what are you doing?"
Aphrodite: "I don't like animals. They're dirty and smelly, and just thinking about them makes me want to take a bath. Do you want your own tub?"
Gabrielle: "No! I'm fine. Thank you."

It's one of my little secrets
Gabrielle: "What is that smell? It smells like ... chocolate."
Aphrodite: "Essence of white chocolate, to be exact. Haven't you heard that chocolate's an aphrodisiac? It's one of my little secrets."
Gabrielle: "Ah, anyway ... I looked for that little horse everywhere ..."


Xena: "Okay, we got peanuts. We got picked eggs. Castor oil. All we need now is a sack of flour."
Joxer: "Did you get prunes?"
Xena: "Yeah, what's life without prunes?"


Gabrielle: "Argo? ... Where are you?!"


Xena: "Bag of wheat ... ooh, looky there! The last one on the shelf."
Big Oaf: (grabs bag of wheat from the other side of the shelf) "So, you thought you got rid of me. Huh? Well, better luck next time!"
Xena: "Luck has nothing to do with it."
Big Oaf: "AAAHHH!!!!!"
Joxer: "Nice save!"
Xena: "And it's on special."

Nice save!
Grocer: "Clean-up aisle seven. Clean-up aisle seven."
Joxer: "Not so tough now, are you, Mr. Tough Guy?"
Xena: "Nah, he's just an oaf. Here ... (drops bag of wheat in his lap)"
Big Oaf: "Oaf!"

Xena: "See, what I'm more concerned about is that any kid of mine is going to encounter some pretty strange and dangerous things ... like ... giants ..."
Joxer: "Giants ... ha ha ha ... Hades, that's the least of your problems. Let's see, there's Dryads ... Harpies ... Bacchae ... oh sure, that kid of yours is going to encounter a host of problems. Let's see -- pestilence, disease, foot rot, misery. But, you know what, Xena? That kid's got something he couldn't get anywhere else."
Xena: "What?"
Joxer: "You."
Xena: (embraces Joxer in a crushing bear hug) "Oh, thank you. Thank you."
Joxer: "Oof ... Xena ... ow ..."


Gabrielle: "Argo! ... Argo!"
Argo: "Neigh."
Gabrielle: "Argo, come here. What are you doing? Are you trying to get me in trouble?"

Gabrielle: "Lachrymose, I am so happy to see you. You have got to change Argo back. You don't realize how important she is to Xena."
Lachrymose: "Oh, touching. But, we had a deal, remember?"

Gabs and her big mouth ... er ... nevermind
Gabrielle: "Will you give me a break?! Unless you can't do it. Maybe you're not god enough to do it. I mean, who's gonna ride her the way she is now? No one is that small."
Lachrymose: "Oh yeah?"


Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5

Season 5 Menu

Home Page