Xena: "Alright, anyone seen a guy in a little pointy hat?" Leader of the Pointy Hat Gang: "Is that supposed to be ... funny?!" Xena: "No, I just got lucky ... tough crowd."

Xena: "No Gabrielle. No Joxer. At least there's someone who won't desert me ... (whisltes for her trusty traveling companion -- the horse, that is)"

---

Gabrielle: "Argo! Come back!"
Lachrymose: "You again! Just wait ‘til I catch you!"
Joxer: "Must be Lachrymose intolerant. You could find her easier if you made her big again."
Lachrymose: "Now, you are not as dumb as you look."

---

Xena: (hears the sound of her trusty stead trotting up to the tavern door) "Oh, now that is devotion." Pointy Hat Guy #1: "Look, a stray dog!" Pointy Hat Guy #2: "They took a dog and put a horse head on it!" Pointy Hat Guy #3: "What do you have to do? Add water?" Xena: "GABRIE-E-E-E-LLLE !!!!!!!!"

Xena: "Gabrielle! What is that?!"
Gabrielle: "I can explain."
Joxer: "Look at that. Cold water, she said, ‘cold water.'"

Gabrielle: "Xena, now don't get mad. It's not good for the baby. Okay, I, uh ... (hides behind Joxer) ... Xena all we have to do is make Lachrymose laugh. Then we can have Argo back to the way she was." Big Oaf: "Say your prayers, Xena!" Xena: "Hallelujah!"

Xena: (reaching for some pies) "Alright, now, I'm not mad. I'm just very, very disappointed."

Xena: "And, as for you ..." Joxer: "No, no. Think about it. Think about it!" Xena: "Hyah!" Pointy Hat Guy: "Hey! She hit Bob!" Xena: (points at Gabs) "It was her." Gabrielle: "What?" -- splat!! --

Joxer: "You forgot to duck!" -- splat!! --
Gabrielle: "So did you. Ha ha."

Xena: "Joxer ... never pie a pregnant woman."

Xena: "Heads up Lachrymose!" Lachrymose: -- splat!! -- "Agh! ... heh heh heh .. Ha Ha Ha!"

Aphrodite: "You okay?"
Gabrielle: "This isn't working."
Aphrodite: "What isn't working?"
Gabrielle: "I thought telling you the Lachrymose story would somehow end my writer's block."
Aphrodite: "Oh well, at least you got him in touch with his inner child."
Gabrielle: "That's it!"
Aphrodite: "What?"
Gabrielle: "That's the answer."
Aphrodite: "What are you talking about?"
Gabrielle: "Ever since Xena became pregnant, I have been trying to find a way to make the world a better place. I've allowed myself no time for the things that make me happy ... like my writing. I think that I've lost that part of me that's a bard. Anyway, maybe my writing will help Xena's baby figure out who he or she really is."

Aphrodite: "Well, it looks like my work here is done." Gabrielle: "Wait!" Aphrodite: "What? You got a lot of catching up to do." Gabrielle: "Thank you." Aphrodite: "Don't thank me yet. Wait ‘til you get my bill."

Gabrielle: " ‘And the day ended as it began -- along side my friends ...'"

Xena: "You know, I gotta tell you, I am feeling a whole lot better. I mean, life's pretty sweet for me right now. I've got no cooking, no cleaning, and backrubs for a month."

Gabrielle: "Technically you didn't lose your temper. But, Xena, I saw you throwing pies in a less-than-loving manner." Joxer: "Much less." Xena: "Oh?" Joxer: "Loving." Xena: "Yep. Loving, that's me ... ( -- splat!!! --) ... who threw that pie?!"

DISCLAIMER: Gabrielle and Argo were shrunk and Permanently Pressed during the production of this motion picture.