Punch Lines
- Page 4 -

Gabrielle: (with her new squeaky pint-sized voice) "I gotta think."

Xena: "See, you don't have to tell Gabrielle, because I don't mean to be cranky. I just can't seem to help it."
Joxer: "Hey, you're pregnant. That's the way pregnant women are."
Xena: "That's right."
Joxer: "Sure."
Xena: "So, I should try to remain calm because that's what's best for the baby."
Joxer: "Oh, sure."

Xena: "I've learned how my actions can have consequences for this child, and I just want to do my best."
Joxer: "Xena, take it form me, if anybody can love and protect that kid, it's you. Come here ... (embraces Xena in a big bear hug)"
Xena: "Alright ... that's enough ... let go of me ... Eggs! Eggs!"
Joxer: (sees a pint-sized Gabrielle and miniature Argo over Xena's shoulder) "Argo!"
Xena: "What?"
Joxer: "I'll go. I'll go get the eggs."

Grocer: (to certain warrior princess who is eating her weight in turnips) "Excuse me, first you buy it, then you eat it ... (Xena spits out a mouthful of turnip) ... oh, that's pretty."

Gabrielle: "Joxer!"
Joxer: "Gabrielle, what happened?!"
Gabrielle: "I'll explain later. I need your help."
Joxer: "Wait a minute. This is our golden opportunity. You are going to be my new partner. Joxer and Little Pal. Look, your new sword ... (drops his dagger mere inches from poor, little Gabs)"
Gabrielle: "Oh, gods! Joxer!"
Joxer: "Sorry. Sorry. I got a better idea. You can be a circus act. Joxer and his amazing side show freak ... (Gabrielle bites Joxer's fingertip to show her disapproval of his apparent plans) ... Ow!"

This is our golden opportunity
Gabrielle: "Joxer, I need your help to find the god who did this to change us back."
Joxer: "Okay, what am I going to tell Xena?"
Gabrielle: "I don't know. Make something up. Tell her anything."
Joxer: "Okay. Now, what am I going to say to a god?"

Joxer: "Oh, Lachrymose! God of Despair! Hear my plea and appear!"

Gabrielle: "Just try and stay still, Argo. Please?"

Joxer: "Life is so awful."
Lachrymose: "Really? How awful?"
Joxer: "Uh ... you"re the first god I've ever summoned ..."
Gabrielle: "Joxer!"

... well, it all started when I was a child
Joxer: "... well, it all started when I was a child. I was a happy kid, at first. But, then Mom and Dad started fighting. He'd get tanked and take the chariot ... no matter who tried to stop him. One day, Mom took it hard. And then, she took a couple of arrows from Dad's creditors and died. It's just not fair!"
Lachrymose: "No, it's not. Tell me more. Tell me more. It must get worse."

Aphrodite: "You actually thought Joxer was going to help?!"
Gabrielle: "Joxer has pulled through for us several times."
Aphrodite: "Really?"
Gabrielle: "Mm-hmm."
Aphrodite: "When?"
Gabrielle: "We -- Joxer, uh ... okay, forget that ... but, Joxer, sometimes he ... well, no, no, no, no, no, no ... Joxer, he can be ... oh, no, okay, once there was this time that he ... okay, no, there was a time that Joxer ..."

Joxer: "Hi, I'm Joxer."
Gabrielle: "Gabrielle."
Joxer: "Ha! Gotcha now! ... Oof!" -- Callisto

Gabrielle: "Okay, you win. But Joxer is a loyal friend and a great traveling companion."
Aphrodite: "Don't get me wrong, I love the poor dope."
Gabrielle: "You know, he convinced Lacrymose to return me to my full size."
Aphrodite: "Joxer's pathetic life was right up his alley, huh?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah, not even Lachrymose was laughing ..."

Lachrymose: "Oh, that's terrible, Please tell me it gets worse. Some wounds never heal."

Xena: (to Grocer) "Watch my stuff would ya. I'm going to go get my friend from the tavern ... I don't feel so good."

*** Big Oaf finally awakens from his warrior-princess-induced coma and stalks out after Xena.


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