Eris: "It'll be perfect. A few hides of fresh kill hanging by the door, a big mushroom garden, a practice dummy out back, a weapons rack by the fire, cooking spit big enough to roast a whole side of beef - what more could any Amazon want?" Xena: "Hmm … if I was an Amazon."

Xena: "Ah, she's a little overzealous, Eve, but at least the place will be clean."

Gabrielle: "Xena … Joxer's going to be blinded."
Xena: "Nah, that's just a myth. Guys don't go blind from doing that."
Gabrielle: "No, under the law. The punishment for seeing an Amazon naked is losing an eye. As Queen, I have to enforce that."
Xena: "I see. That's a terrible problem."

Gabrielle: "You cleaned this place. Xena, that's great. You're really trying to make it work, aren't you? … I can, too." Xena: "Look, Joxer's had enough. Just let him off the hook, okay?" Gabrielle: "I'm on it."

Joxer: "Hey! Which one of you brats threw that?!"
Kids: "Pervert. Loser. Fat Creep."
Joxer: "I am not fat! If I ever get out of these stocks, you're dead!"

Rhea: "Why'd you do it?"
Joxer: "Huh?"
Rhea: "Why'd you spy on us while we were bathing?"
Joxer: "Uh … um … well, um … what, are you kidding? How could I not look?"
Rhea: "You are the first man I've ever been near who wasn't trying to kill me … and the first to see me undressed."
Joxer: "Oh. Listen, I'm really sorry about that. I know I shouldn't have done it."
Rhea: "And did you - I mean … was I pleasing?"
Joxer: "You're very healthy, you know, for a girl."
Rhea: "Would you want to make a baby with me?"

Joxer: "What?!" Rhea: "Will you help?" Joxer: "Wait a minute. You want me to … ah … to … make a …" Rhea: "Right. Will you?"

Joxer: "Of course not! Hey, listen - we're not just machines, you know, you can use to … Besides, you know, we can't just do it on command. We need stuff like cheap motel rooms, and dirty pictures and lingerie - stuff like that. We're not animals … but I can get those things."

Rhea: "Gabrielle's ready for the Queen's robes."
Cyane: "Not in my opinion."
Rhea: "Cyane, look - I know you're disappointed. If Xena and Gabrielle hadn't come along, these robes would probably be yours."
Cyane: "And they should be. I'm the one who took the name of our ancient queen, and I'm ready to follow in her footsteps."
Rhea: "And there's not a braver, more devoted sister in the whole tribe. That's why I know you're going to do the right thing and support Gabrielle."

Xena: "Alright, Eve. I want you to be a good girl, alright?" - Hands her over to the Amazon babysitter.

Eris: "Xena, where are you going?"
Xena: "Hunting … alone."
Eris: "Well, then it's lucky we caught you."
Xena: "Why?"
Eris: "Well, we're in charge of staging the dance for Gabrielle's coronation."
Xena: "Congratulations."
Eris: "Thanks, but we're kind of hoping you'd be in it, too. After all, she is you best friend, and until I came along, your closest and most loyal companion, right"
Xena: "What did you say?"
Eris: "Don't you want to help make this the most special day of her life?"
Xena: "… Yes."

Joxer: "Ow! Hey, what was that for?" Gabrielle: "For being a Peeping Tom." Joxer: "Hey, it's not my fault if a bunch of half-naked woman are bathing and I just happen to be watching them from the bushes for a really long time. Ow!"

Joxer: "Hey! When's all this gonna end?"
Gabrielle: "When I can figure out how to get you out of here."
Joxer: "You're the Queen, why don't you pardon me?"
Gabrielle: "It's not that easy, there are traditions at stake."
Joxer: "(mockingly) 'there are traditions at stake' … Well, how about the tradition of not having your pal's eyes gouged out?"
Gabrielle: "Don't be such a baby. Maybe there's a loophole in the Amazon Scroll. Don't go anywhere."

Xena: (dancing without a whole lot of enthusiasm) "Look, um … thanks, but I've had enough."
Young Amazon: "You can't quit now."
Xena: "Sorry."
Eris: "Hey, Xena's a lot older than us. She's probably tired. Let's go practice at my place."

Xena: "Hey … you make that (goofy looking antler head dress) yourself?" Gabrielle: "Xena, I can make a difference with this tribe. You do understand that, don't you?" Xena: "I do." Gabrielle: "You don't." Xena: "No, I don't!"

Xena: "Look, it's not that I haven't tried, Gabrielle."
Gabrielle: "Tried? Xena, I can dance better than that."
Xena: "This is just not me, alright? This whole place - the shared meals, communal bathing, group laundry day - all this togetherness is making me sick!"

Gabrielle: "You never intended to stay, did you?"
Xena: "You know, I think that maybe me and Eve should go away for a while - up north where the salmon are running - some good weather. Do some fishing."
Gabrielle: "That's probably a good idea."
Xena: "It is."
Gabrielle: "You really think so, don't you?"
Xena: "Yeah, I do."

Xena: "So, I'll head back and get some things together. Then, after the coronation, Eve and I are outta here."