Gabrielle: (waking in up in a big water bed) "That was so weird."

Hagar: "Wake up, my little cuddle fish. Time to take your medicine. Hey, there's no need for that, nothing I haven't seen before. Here you are. Drink it up."
Gabrielle: "What is this?"
Hagar: "Oh, that. It's just something the Doc said would help you get back on your feet a little faster."

Gabrielle: "You …" Hagar: "Drink it down. Down the hatch. That's it." Gabrielle: "Uggh." Hagar: "That's a good girl."

Gabrielle: "No offense, but who are you?"
Hagar: "Me? I'm your husband, Hagar."
Gabrielle: "You are my husband?"
Hagar: "Oh, yes."
Gabrielle: "I don't have a wedding ring."
Hagar: "Oh. You must have lost it in the Tidal Pool. We'll get you another one. Nothing is too good for the mother of my sprats."
Gabrielle: "Please tell me these kids were adopted."
Hagar: "Oh, no. We had them the old-fashioned way. We earned them."
Flipper: "Row's doing it again!"
Hagar: "Keep the bed warm, I'll be right back … Row, I told you to keep your tentacles to yourself!"

Gabrielle: "Maybe amnesia's not a bad thing afterall."

Hagar: (while watching the Playfish channel) "Get out of the way, you blowfish … Nice tail … Oh, oh yes … now, that's what I call a lungfish."

Gabrielle: "This place is a sty." Hagar: "Hey hey hey hey hey! Not for long. 'Cause now that you're feeling better … you can start cleaning again." Gabrielle: "Did we have a happy marriage?" Hagar: "Happy as clams."

Gabrielle: "Aren't there children somewhere around here?" - Poor Gabs get caught in their trap and dangles from the ceiling by her feet.
Hagar: "Kids!"
Gabrielle: "I want down now."
Hagar: "Your mother has told you a hundred times not to play games in the living room! Now, let her down."
Gabrielle: (falls to the floor) "Some kids."
Hagar: "Yes, aren't they?"

Hagar: "In case you don't remember, in descending order - that's Flipper." Flipper: "Look, Ma, no hands." Hagar: "Quite the wise acre. Next to him is the curious one, Urchin." Urchin: "What's a sphincter?" Hagar: "Hm, and who could forget little Baby Row? … (the door foghorn bellows) … Oh, be back in a moment my little sea mollusk."

Row: "Mama? … Mama!" - spring onto Gab's face much like the rabid rabbit from "In Sickness and In Hell" Gabrielle: "Aagh! … Get off me! … Get this slime bucket off me!"

Hagar: "Hello-o-o. Did ya get it? I only had enough for one drink." Sturgina: (who looks amazingly a lot like Discord, but with a really bad wig and a really tacky New York accent) "Stinger Stingray, the ultimate mind eraser, just like you asked." Hagar: "Great."

Sturgina: "You know, I've never let you down …"
Crabella: (who looks amazingly a lot like Aphrodite, but with an even worse wig and much tackier New York accent) "Hey, I paid for it! 'Cause with me, you'd never have to."

Sturgina: "I know you must be lonely since Crustacea walked out on you, so -"
Hagar: "Walked out on me? Walked out on me? Ha, that's a hot one! No, no - she's at the Spa vacationing."
Sturgina: "Too bad she's …"
Crabella: "Back!"

Gabrielle: "… Get off of me! …"
Sturgina: "But that's impossible."
Hagar: "Heh heh heh. Girls, you know how the council is about family values. If I'm going to win that re-election, I'm gonna need a mother … for my children … even if it's not the original. Get me?"
Crabella: "So, you picked up some look-alike to play the part?"
Hagar: "Yes. She has amnesia, so now she thinks she's Crustacea."
Sturgina: "And you need this to keep her in character, huh?"
Hagar: "Please, I'll do anything … Thanks, you can show yourselves out."

Row: (while helping Gabs mop with his many tentacles) "Mama!" Gabrielle: (door foghorn blows) "Come in! … (Baby Row attaches himself to Gabs legs) … Uggh!" Crabella: "Wow, you look just like her." Gabrielle: "Like who?" Sturgina: "Just like you did before the accident. We thought there'd be more scar tissue."

Gabrielle: "Who are you?" Sturgina: "Only your best friends in the whole world!" Gabrielle: "Oh, I should have know that, I'm sure. I have amnesia." Crabella: "Oh, so that explains the new look. It's so not you." Sturgina: "And, it explains why you weren't there today." Gabrielle: "Where?"

Gabrielle: "What is this place?" Sturgina: "It's the Club." Crabella: "Anyone who's anyone comes to the club." Sturgina: "Mermaids or not."

Lifeguard: "Alright ladies! Let's get those fins in gear! It's time to … aqua-cise!"

Lifeguard: "Alright., everyone in the pool! That's good! That's right! Now, swim towards me … Everybody … coming together … coming together …"
Sturgina: "So, Crustacea, have things gotten any better, you know, at home?"
Gabrielle: "What things?"
Crabella: "Oh, that's right, the amnesia. Well, maybe it's for the best."
Lifeguard: "… alright, now, coming together … smoothly though … smoothly coming together … that's it … forming the 'O' … oh, beautiful!"

Gabrielle: "What's wrong at home?"
Sturgina: "Well, according to you, everything! The kids are impossible."
Crabella: "Yeah, Flipper's a smart-mouth brat, and Urchin's a budding pervert, and Baby Row? Well, nobody knows exactly what Baby Row is."
Gabrielle: "He's not really a pervert. Did I say all that?"
Sturgina: "You think we'd make it up?"
Gabrielle: "I guess not."
Crabella: "I'm telling ya, girl, you've been ready to jump ship for months."
Sturgina: "Not that we blame you, especially since you told us Hagar wants a dozen more … just like him."
Gabrielle: "He does?"
Sturgina: "Mm-hmm."
Crabella: "We'll help you pack."
Gabrielle: "If the kids are that bad, I can't - I can't leave them. I have to raise them to be better, right? I'll stay."
Lifeguard: "… now, holding … and let the flower bloom."

Hagar: "And so, wise members of council, if elected president, I promise that I will not rest until I have established schools for our little fishes everywhere."

The Godfather: "So, I heard your wife's back from vacation. Hope she's happy to be home. You know how important a stable family is to the council." Hagar: "Well, with all due respect, sir, I don't think my wife can remember when she's been so happy."

Gabrielle: (awakens to find herself suspended from the ceiling by her feet with arms bound behind her) "That's funny! Please let me down now. Come on - I can't feel my feet anymore. Let me down!"
Flipper: "Now!" - A trap door in the floor opens leading into the sea.
Gabrielle: "Okay, that's enough. Mommy's had a shower. Children!"
Flipper: "Come and get it, Titan! It's suppertime!"
Gabrielle: (Gabs is lowered into the water) "… shark !!!"