Married With Fishsticks

Well, this episode was very um hmm just when you thought it couldn't get worse, it did but don't take my word for it read on if you dare but don't say I didn't warn you.

'I'll give you five dinars...'
Gabrielle: (to a very cranky baby) "Come on, Eve Come on, Eve. Who's your favorite auntie? Gabby! Xena will be back any minute, I promise. She's just grabbing a quick bath Come on, hush, hush, hush, hush, now I'll give you a dinar I'll give you five dinars Oh, please!"

Xena: "Alright, Sweetheart, mama's here."
Gabrielle: "Xena, I can't figure out what's wrong with her."
Xena: "Babies cry, Gabrielle. It's just a fact of life (Eve finally stops crying) I'm her mother."
Gabrielle: "You're a natural. I thought I was, but I lost my touch."
Xena: "Nah, you're great with kids."

Ah, silence is golden
Gabrielle: "Xena, I don't have to patience to even raise my own."
Xena: "You rise to every occasion, Gabrielle, I don't think motherhood's going to be any different. Don't lose any sleep over it."
Gabrielle: (regarding a now snoozing Eve) "Speaking of."

Shh !!!  Quiet.
Joxer: "Come and get it !!!"
Gabrielle: "Shh !!! Quiet."

Joxer: "What? It's not sleeping, is it? Here's the grub for the spud."
Xena: "What's this?!"
Joxer: "You asked for baby food."
Xena: "Baby back ribs are not baby food, Joxer."
Gabrielle: "Eve doesn't have teeth. How is she supposed to tear meat from the bone?"
Joxer: "What, she doesn't have hands?"

'Baby back ribs are not baby food, Joxer'
Gabrielle: "You. Me. Town. Now."
Joxer: "Fine. Hey, you don't mind if I have some of those do you? You can 'spare' some ribs. Get it? (Gabrielle drags him into a tree) Oof !!!
Gabrielle: "Watch that tree."

'She love me ... she loves me not'
Pirate: "She love me she loves me not she loves me she loves me not "
Discord: "Well, if it isn't the ever-titillating Aphrodite. I almost didn't recognize you with your legs closed."
Aphrodite: "Discord are you still looking for someone to shave your back?"

Discord: "You've crossed the line for the last time. That pirate that you turned into a love-sick idiot, I had big plans for him."
Aphrodite: "All I did was give him a slight attitude adjustment."
Discord: "By cutting off his "
Aphrodite: "Alright, it's time someone washed your mouth out with soap."

'You're dead Bimbolina!'
Discord: "Uggh! You're dead Bimbolina!" - starts shooting fireballs at Aphrodite."
Aphrodite: (having successfully returned three fireballs) "Love 40!"

Getting the goddess' attention
Joxer: "What's going on?!"
Gabrielle: "Give you two guesses (whistles to get the goddess' attention) Aphrodite, got a problem?"
Aphrodite: "Nothing that a bucket of disinfectant can't fix."
Discord: "Eat me, hosebag!"

*** Discord continues to shoot fireballs at Aphrodite until one goes astray and loosens a large pulley and knocks Gabrielle upside her pretty blond head.

Hagar: (who happens to look exactly like a certain bumbling Joxer) "Are you okay?"
Gabrielle: "Where am I?"
Hagar: "You took a nasty spill."
Gabrielle: "I don't remember anything. Not - not this place - not - not you -- not -- (notices that she now sports a big fin instead of legs) my legs! My legs! What happened to my legs?!"
Hagar: "Just - you know, fins when you're in the water, legs when you're out. You don't remember anything, do you?"
Gabrielle: "No."

'Total amnesia ... that's perfect ... ly awful'
Hagar: "Total amnesia that's perfect ly awful. The kids and I were worried sick."
Gabrielle: "What kids?"
Hagar: "Our kids!"

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