Xena and Gabrielle meet up with a few rival nomadic tribes and a bunch 'o Romans. Gabrielle tries her hand at martyrdom. And, for once, the Greater Good doesn't prevail.
Gabrielle: [trudging through a sandstorm] … "What was wrong with staying on the coast? There was sun, surf, sand."
Xena: "You got two out of the three."
Gabrielle: "We were supposed to be relaxing, remember?"
Xena: "We had bad luck. Going inland wasn't supposed to be this way."
Gabrielle: "No, deserts don't have to be dry, desolate and windy, Xena."
Gabrielle: "I can't see anything."
Xena: "Here. Take my hand."
Gabrielle: "Do you even know where we're going?"
Xena: "Do we ever know where we're going?"
Xena: [soaking in a small pool] … "Don't say I never gave you anything -- sun … sand …"
Gabrielle: "Surf!" … [splashes Xena]
Xena: "That was unnecessary. A little uncalled for. Alright, I'm pruning. I'm outta here."
Gabrielle: "Strange beauty to the desert."
Xena: "You look for the beauty in everything, don't ya?"
Gabrielle: "Why does it sound like an insult when you say it?"
Xena: "Well, maybe not everything."
Gabrielle: "Yeah, well, sand up my wazoo makes me a little edgy."
Xena: "Hmm … hate it when that happens."
Xena: [here's a commotion not far off] … "What's that? Let's go check it out."
[The gals come across a small band of fighters who are being surrounded and threatened by a larger group of men on horseback.]
Gabrielle: "Let's even the odds."
[Thanks to Xena and Gabrielle, the men on horseback are chased off.]
Kahina: "Who do you think you are? Who asked you to interfere?"
Gabrielle: "You were being attacked."
Kahina: "Well, in the desert we learn young to mind our own business, otherwise, you don't become old."
Xena: "Growing old is overrated."
Xena: "I never pass up a good fight."
Kahina: "You should pick your fights more wisely, then."
Gabrielle: "We don't pick them, they pick us. Come on, Xena."
Kahina: [drawing her sword] … "Who are you to take that name? Xena, the Warrior Princess, is long dead."
Xena: "No, she's not."
Gabrielle: "This is Xena."
Gabrielle: "No, it's just hard to explain."
Kahina: "And I suppose you're Gabrielle, the Battling Bard of Poteidaia."
Gabrielle: "I've never heard it used like that, but, yeah, I'm Gabrielle."
Kahina: "You're both lying. I guess that's supposed to be the legendary chakram."
Xena: "Supposed to be."
Kahina: "So, you have a chakram. That means nothing. You didn't use it in the battle."
Xena: "Wasn't necessary."
Kahina: "You are a coward and a fraud! Only the real Xena knows how to use one."
Gabrielle: "Show her."
[Xena tosses her chakram, which ricochets of a handy boulder, slices through a few menacing swords and returns to her waiting hand. Kahina and her band drop to their knees.]
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