Heart of Darkness
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Xena: "We have much in common."
Lucifer: "Of course we do. You're a mortal female with a lying tongue, savage tendencies, and a blonde girlfriend. I'm a celibate Archangel in the service of the Lord."
Xena: "Ah, yes, but we're both sinners, you and I, trying to walk a path that we weren't meant to."
Lucifer: "Your reputation for wit is well-deserved. Me, a sinner?" … [surreptitiously hides a dagger beneath a pillow on the bed]
Xena: "You hit two of the top seven your first hour here. What do you call that? Beginner's luck?"

'Why don't you start by taking me to Heaven'
Lucifer: "Red is definitely your color."
Xena: "You know, I see the same spirit burning in you. If we put then together, we could rule both Hell and Earth."
Lucifer: "Why don't you start by taking me to Heaven."
Xena: "Gladly."

Lucifer: "What are you doing?"
Xena: "It's Egyptian massage. It's one of the world's greatest and most sensual pleasures."
Lucifer: "It's not exactly what I had in mind, but it will do for now."


Gabrielle: "Virgil, I thought you were off writing poetry."
Virgil: "You've heard the old adage, 'write what you know.' Well, it turns out that sheering sheep and shoeing horses provides a pretty shallow well with which to draw."
Gabrielle: "There's a difference between getting life experience and beating an innocent man."
Virgil: "No man is innocent … [to Eve] .. or woman."
Gabrielle: "You don't believe that."
Eve: "He can't know what he believes, not when his heart is lying to him."

'It lied to me when it urged that I forgive you...'
Virgil: "No! It lied to me when it urged that I forgive you for murdering my father. Now, is Xena here or not?"
Gabrielle: "What do you want with her?"
Virgil: "Rumor has it that with the gods dead she's about to take the reigns of power. I was hoping that when I pledge my life to her mission, I'd be doing it with you at my side."


'Lesson 1 ... loose the dagger'
Xena: "Are you feeling any more relaxed?"
Lucifer: "Mmm … I'm ready for the next phase of my earthly education."
Xena: "Well … Lesson 1 … [snatches dagger from below the pillow] … loose the dagger, especially when I know you don't really want to send little Xena to Hell."

Lucifer: "You doubt my resolve?"
Xena: "Oh, no."
Lucifer: "Why don't you just kill me?"
Xena: "Because wasted potential is the greatest sin of all. I want to be your salvation, Lucifer."
Lucifer: "I want nothing from you."
Xena: "Then how about everything?"
Lucifer: "That's a big word."
Xena: "It's a big world. It's what I'm offering." … [not giving in to temptation just yet, Lucifer tears himself away and leaves the room]


Eve: "This is a sign of my continued commitment to convert this temple and these people to your way of love, Eli. It is a humble reminder that I cannot do this alone."
Lucifer: "What a long-winded way to ask for help."
Eve: "Let's hear your version."
Lucifer: "What for? I came for some peace and quiet in which to think, not ask for assistance."
Eve: "You need Eli's assistance, or perhaps you're too far gone even for that."

Villagers: "Xena! Xena! Xena!" … [a rowdy group of revelers enter the temple carrying a very scantily clad warrior princess on a litter]
Virgil: "Let's party! Come on, ladies, I am all yours. Out of the way, Eve."

Eve: "Mother, your purpose will not be served by subjecting this temple and this town to further desecration."
Xena: "It's not desecration, Eve. We're just throwing a farewell bash for our celestial guest, assuming that he'll give us the pleasure."
Lucifer: "The pleasure's all mine, Xena, because the farewell I'll be celebrating is yours."

Gabrielle: "You should listen to you mother, Eve. She knows what she's doing."
Eve: "I wouldn't be so sure, Gabrielle … [sees the darkness further engulfing her mother's heart] … not anymore."

'No one likes a party pooper'
Xena: "Eve, sweetheart, if you can't stand the heat, then get the Hell out of my kitchen!"
Eve: "Or stay and put out the fire … oof!"
Gabrielle: "No one likes a party pooper." … [her heart, too, begins to darken]

'No one understands my words better than you'
Gabrielle: "I've had enough."
Virgil: "Perhaps, but it will help us bridge a gap ore quickly since we last met."
Gabrielle: "You mean it will make me drunk and loose."
Virgil: "No one understands my words better than you, Gabrielle."

Lucifer: "Your friends seem to be enjoying themselves."
Xena: "Almost as much as you enjoy watching them."
Lucifer: "I'm an angel, Xena. That's what I do."

'Take your destiny in you hands'
Xena: "Well, there's nothing to keep you one forever, is there? Down here, the greatest possession is free will. Take your destiny in you hands, Lucifer. Stay here and rule the world with me, or you can go back to Heaven and become a Seraphin and spend the rest of eternity taking orders."

[Xena saunters into the center of the temple. As music begins to play, Xena and Gabrielle engage in 'The Dance.' Eventually, Virgil joins the pair and is led off by Gabrielle. Meanwhile, Lucifer drinks heavily from his goblet of wine … [Deadly Sin #3 = Gluttony] … Xena does a little dance number, shedding her coat to reveal a very revealing outfit. Lucifer joins her and one big orgasmic dance rave ensues.]

Lucifer: "You make me feel things, Xena … a hunger." … [Deadly Sin #4 = Lust]
Xena: "It's called lust. And the best thing is, even when you've sated it, you can never be too full."
Lucifer: "Then allow me to spend eternity trying to devour you."

'It's called lust'
Xena: "Will I get another dagger in return?"
Lucifer: "You get to devour me … body and soul."
Michael: "Fortunately, Lucifer, the soul of an Archangel is not his to give away. It belongs to his God." … [Sigh, nothing like the appearance of an Archangel to break up a good orgy]


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