Heart of Darkness

Xena must find some poor schmuck to commit a few sins (seven, to be exact) and take her place as the ruler of Hell. Hmm, I'm sure if she waits just long enough, someone will pop up. Meanwhile, the Dark Side intoxicates, Eve becomes a bit too sanctimonious, and Gabrielle finally loses those two goody shoes.

'Xena will never go down to Hell voluntarily'
Michael: "Xena will never go down to Hell voluntarily."
Raphael: "When she opened up that portal and killed Mephistopheles, she became him. You know the rules. She belongs on that throne."
Michael: "The last time Xena was in Hell, she almost captured Heaven."
Raphael: "Well, we've got to do something. We can't just leave her on earth with pure evil streaming out of that portal."

Archangel: "Aren't you two inspiring? Michael and Raphael, chief warrior angels of the Chief himself, quaking like a couple of frightened children."
Michael: "You're very sure of yourself, aren't you?"
Archangel: "I'm sure of both my faith and my devotion, which has fueled my speedy ascent through the hierarchy. A climb that will continue with a promotion to Seraphin."
Michael: "And how do you plan to do that?"
Archangel: "By throwing Xena down into Hell myself."
Michael: "You realize Xena has the power to destroy angels."
Archangel: "She will use that power unless I send her to Hell."
Michael: "Very well. Proceed."

Raphael: "He just may be the right one for the job."
Michael: "He may be perfect."

'Maybe that's because you're standing near the portal to Hell'
Eve: "A great evil is coming, Gabrielle. I can feel it."
Gabrielle: "Maybe that's because you're standing near the portal to Hell."

Eve: "Maybe. But there's a reason it's remained open even after Mephistopheles' death. It's waiting for something."
Archangel: "Yes, it is, Eve. It wants your mother."
Gabrielle: "Who why are you here?"
Archangel: "To do what Eve knows in her heart must be done. Since we're both on the same side, I felt that she at least deserved the courtesy of a quick goodbye."
Gabrielle: "Xena."

Xena: "Get away from my horse."
Aliyah: "I was just being friendly."
Xena: "I've heard that one before."
Aliyah: "I came to offer my services, Xena. After everything you've done for our city and our people, I'd like to help restore your mother's tavern."
Xena: "Well, thanks."

Gabrielle: "Xena Xena, we've got a problem."
Xena: "Let me guess it's huge and potentially devastating."

'So, it is huge and potentially devastating'
Aliyah: "An angel!"
Archangel: "Oh, I'm more than an angel I'm an Archangel destined to become a household name, especially after I send Xena to Hell."
Xena: "So, it is huge and potentially devastating. Goody."

Eve: "As Eli's messenger, I tell you that this is wrong."
Archangel: "What's wrong is your mother's selfish refusal to bow to the prophecy of Mephistopheles throne. Fortunately, Heaven's got me on its side [Deadly Sin #1 = Pride] ... Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a steaming portal to get to."

[The Archangel uses his fancy powers to disarm and knock poor Xena flat on her back.]

'That's surprisingly decent...'
Archangel: "Stay out of this, Gabrielle. I wish you no harm."
Xena: [with a sword at her throat] "That's surprisingly decent coming from one so guilty of indecent exposure" [glances at his um heavenly unmentionables]
Archangel: "I expose nothing."
Xena: "Except your abundant pride."

'I can understand you wanting to keep it quiet...'
Archangel: "You're obviously not aware that this 'pride' you accuse me of is a mortal sin."
Xena: "One of the seven deadlies to be exact. So I can understand you wanting to keep it quiet, being an angel and all."
Archangel: "You twist my words."
Xena: "No, I straighten them out, and you should thank me, because they're they last one's you're ever going to speak."

Xena: [with her sword at his throat] "Because I am a generous soul, I am going to make sure Gabrielle records your household name for all posterity."
Archangel: "Lucifer. My name's Lucifer."
Xena: "Has a nice ring, kind of like a death knell." [raises her sword to plunge it into Lucifer's chest]

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