Xena: "Hi."
Gabrielle: "Xena, I, um ... I want to ask you something."
Xena: "Well, make it snappy. I've got a lot of single, Greek losers to turn down."
Gabrielle: "What do you think about Amoria ... for Joxer?"
Xena: "Works for me."
Gabrielle: "Are you crazy?"
Xena: "Why did you ask me if you already have an answer?"
Gabrielle: "Because, she's so wrong for him. He should be with someone who's like -- like --"
Xena: "You?"
Gabrielle: "Come on, Xena."
Xena: "Well, hey, if you're not going to take him, it's not fair to stop someone else from trying."

Joxer: "Jace, how are you, Bro? Listen -- I know what you're thinking. I've been acting crummy toward you and I probably shouldn't have said what I said."
Jace: "Really?"
Joxer: "Look, you're a grown man. If you want to dress like a clown and act like a spaz, that is none of my business."
Jace: "Joxer ... back in the old country ..."
Joxer: "Jace, you're not from the ‘old country' and you're not from Spain, and I doubt very much if you've ever even had a plate of paella."

Jace: "I am your older brother by half an hour ... and I see that that is going to make all the difference in the world. I accept your apology ... because I know it is as good as I'm ever going to get from you, because you obviously don't know any better. Adios."

Xena: "Alright, come on! The concert's starting soon!"
Young Man: "Xena, right?"
Xena: "She left town -- you just missed her."
Young Man: "Before you say no, hear me out. I may not look like much, but in a few years when my face clears up, I'll grow to be the kind of man your child would be proud to call ‘dad'."
Xena: "You know what, kid? That is the nicest offer I've had all day. You shouldn't be in so much of a hurry to grow up ... Mother."

Xena: "I'm going to kill you."
Cyrene: "All I want for you is to have a family, Xena."
Xena: "I have a family! I've got Gabrielle. I've got Joxer. And as much as it pains me to say it, I've got you. This child's life will be filled with more than enough love."
Cyrene: "Still, that doesn't replace a father."
Xena: "For crying out loud, what century are you living in?!"

Xena: "Now there was a time When they used to say That behind every great man Was a great woman." Amoria: "But in these times of change You know it's no longer true. So we're comin' out of the kitchen ‘Cause there's something we forgot to say to you." Sisters: "Sisters are doing it for themselves. Standin' on their own two feet And ringin' on their own bells." Xena: "Now this is a song to celebarate The conscious liberation of the female sate." Amoria: "I'm talking about a state of mind! Mothers and daughters and their daughters, too Woman to woman, we're singin' with you." Sisters: "Sisters are doing it for themselves. Standin' on their own two feet And ringin' on their own bells." Xena: "Oh, we ain't making stories and we ain't layin' plans." Amoria: "‘Cause a man still loves a woman, And a woman still loves a man." Sisters: "Sisters are doing it for themselves. Standin' on their own two feet And ringin' on their own bells. Sisters are doing it for themselves. Standin' on their own two feet And ringin' on their own bells. Sisters are doing it for themselves!"

Cyrene: "You've always danced to the beat of your own drum, Xena. I suppose it would be foolish of me to stop you now."
Xena: "Thanks, Mom."
Cyrene: "Now, who did you say the father was?"

Soldier: "Everything okay, Boss?"
Draco: "Does everything look okay?! The woman I love, my sweet, beautiful Gabrielle has spurned my advances. No. No, not spurned. She ha-- She hates me."
Soldier: "Hey, don't let it get you down. There's plenty of chicks in the sea."
Draco: "Gabrielle is not a chick! She and I are soulmates. And as long as she is alive, I will never be able to love again."
Soldier: "But, what about the contest? I mean, me and the boys were really looking forward to rockin' down."
Draco: "Oh, we'll perform, alright. In fact ... we're gonna slay them."

Audience: "BOO !!!! Get on with the show !!!! BOO !!!"

Gabrielle: "We still need you to perform. Can you warm up in the dressing room? ... Uh, no, you need to put on your costume. Just go to the left, it's on the rack ... Could we please clear this area!"
Xena: "What's going on? Come on, the crowd's going wild."
Gabrielle: "No one wants to be the first band."
Xena: "Alright, you go out there and stall. I'll deal with the bands."

Gabrielle: "Uh, the concert's about to start. I need to make an announcement, there's some bad Sluvaki going around, so stay away from the Sluvaki ... Hey! Hey, it's not that bad."

Draco: "Gabrielle ..." Gabrielle: "Draco ... you're on." Draco: "This is your last chance, Gabrielle. Marry me, My Love." Gabrielle: "Draco, no!" Draco: "Have it your own way. But you're part of the act now. And, for the grand finale ... you get to die."