Amoria: "Need a hand, Killer?" Joxer: "Where? Oh ... me? Um, yeah, I am a killer. In fact, I can kill a person with a cold stare. But, you know -- inside -- inside I'm delicate as a daisy. You know, inside."

Amoria: "Mmm, don't try so hard, Joxer. Didn't anyone ever tell you that the quickest way to a woman's heart is by making her laugh?"
Joxer: "Oh, in that case, I'm the sexiest man in the world."
Jace: "There you are! Joxer!"
Joxer: "Who's that guy? Why don't you wait here. I'll be back in a moment."

Jace: "You crazy fellow, you. Give your brother a hug!"
Joxer: "No. Jace. No!"
Jace: "Play the game."
Joxer: "No."
Jace: "Play the game!"
Joxer: "No, Jace, not now!"
Jace: (covers eyes) "Where is he? I don't see my little brother. Where is here? ... There he is! Where have you been? I was beginning to think I was an only child."
Joxer: "Look, Jace, I'm a grown up now. I'm not your little, baby brother, and I'm a warrior with a reputation to protect. I follow my sword."
Jace: "Well, I follow the music wherever it takes me. I thought you'd be happy it took me to you."
Joxer: "Yeah, it makes my day ... and stop talking like that."
Jace: "Like what?"
Joxer: "Like, I don't know -- that stupid accent of yours, like you're from Spain or something. You're from Olympic Street in Athens, two blocks from Akbar the meatman, just like me."
Jace: "Well, not just like you. I don't have a pasta strainer for a shirt."
Joxer: "Just stay away from me ... Bro."

Jace: "My own brother insulting me. Can you believe that?"
Xena: "As a matter of fact, I can. Joxer likes to think he knows who he is, but all he really knows is who he wants to be."
Jace: "That's right. And, who would not want to be just like me?"

Cyrene: "Oh, Xena ... Xena, meet Philipis. He's a healer. Tell Xena all the exciting things you've been doing with leeches."
Xena: "Oh, that's great, because I could sure use a doctor right about now ... (reveals a very pregnant belly) ... Could you give me and Mom just a moment? Thanks ...

Xena: Alright, I am telling you for the last time politely, I don't need help finding a man!" Cyrene: "No, but finding the right man -- now that's a different story." Xena: "I'm beginning to remember why I left home so young."

Gabrielle: "What is your problem? Why were you so rude to your brother?"
Joxer: "Look, Gabrielle, you don't understand. Things are different. We're not kids anymore. I'm a warrior now, and Jace is still ... Jace."
Gabrielle: "So you're telling me that you are so heartless towards him because he's ..."
Joxer: "Different! He's different. And he's ..."
Gabrielle: "Yes?"
Joxer: "... he's wasting his life. He is wasting his life. I am a warrior and he is ..."
Gabrielle: "Your brother? No matter what else he is, he will always be that."

Amoria: "Hey, Joxer! My band's rehearsing our moves. You want to watch, Handsome?" Joxer: "Do birds fly? Do bees buzz? Do I take a bath once a month whether I need it or not? You bet."

Man: "Xena, right?"
Xena: "Who wants to know?"
Man: "I saw your add. ‘Single Greek female seeks marriage with stable provider to raise a child and dote on an exceptionally wonderful mother-in-law who doesn't look a day over twenty.'"
Xena: "Gee, I wonder who wrote that?"
Man: "It wasn't you?"
Xena: "No, I am not in the market for a husband."
Man: "Sure, I understand. How about a little casual sex?"
Xena: "Hyah!"

Gabrielle: (having seen Joxer and Amoria making goo-goo eyes at each other) "Why do I care? It's Joxer!"
Draco: "Ain't love grand?"
Gabrielle: "Draco, I'm busy."
Draco: "I've come to talk to you about our future. Now, I'm a changed man. My warlord days are well behind me, and when I win that lyre, I will prove it to you in song."
Gabrielle: "I'm the reason you want the lyre?"
Draco: "The lyre? Of course it is! When I win that melodious instrument, I will serenade you for all eternity."
Gabrielle: "That's very sweet ... in a completely deranged, obsessed kind of way."

Gabrielle: "Draco, you do not love me. You are under a spell."
Draco: "Call it what you will, My Love, just as long as you marry me. We could have a wedding in Spring and a honeymoon in Crete."
Gabrielle: "The answer is no."
Draco: "Your lips say ‘no', but your eyes scream ‘yes'."
Gabrielle: "Don't make me say it in a way you won't like!"
Draco: "I will never give up on us, Gabrielle. You may kiss me."
Gabrielle: "Don't even think about it. Let me get this through your thick skull. I would not marry you if you were the last man on earth."
Draco: "... she wants me."

Draco: "I walk along these city streets you used to walk along with me, And every step I take recalls how much in love we used to be. Oh, how can I forget you ... When there is always something there to remind me! When there is always something there to remind me! I was born to love you and I will never be free! You'll always be a part of me! When shadows fall, I pass a small cafe where we would dance at night, And I can't help recalling how it felt to kiss and hold you tight. Oh, how can I forget you ... When there is always something there to remind me! When there is always something there to remind me! I was born to love you and I will never be free! You'll always be a part of me! If you should find you miss the sweet and tender love we used to share, Just come back to the places where we used to go, and I'll be there. Oh, how can I forget you ... When there is always something there to remind me! When there is always something there to remind me!

Draco: "If I can't have you, Gabrielle ... no one will."