Looking Death in the Eye

An aging Joxer reads the last written account of Gabrielle and Xena's adventures in which the Olympic gods are determined to prove the concept of self-fulfilled destiny as they persistently pursue the gals and Eve. Sigh, when will they learn not to underestimate Xena & Gabrielle? More to the point, when will Xena learn to not underestimate Ares?


Ramius: " Sold, for 30 Dinars."
Bald Man: "Hey, Ramius, what's the next item up for bid? [Ramius whips out an ordinary scroll] You can't be serious."
Ramius: "Ah, but it isn't just any scroll. No, my friends. I have in my hands the last known scroll transcribed by the Bard of Poteidaia herself! It describes in breathtaking detail the final adventures of Xena, the legendary Warrior Princess who dared to defy the gods "
Joxer: [an almost elderly Joxer snatches the scroll out of Ramius' hands] ... "This is Gabrielle's handwriting. It's real!"
Ramius: "Well, sure it is."

Joxer: "Bard of Poteidaia you know, I - I knew her. She was a friend of mine. Xena was my friend, too."
Bald Man: "Xena was my housemaid."
Ramius: [to Joxer] ... "Well, friend we best cut you off."

Ramius: "What's say we start the bidding at -"
Bald Man: "10 Dinars!"
Bidder #2: "20 Dinars!"
Bidder #3: "25 Dinars!"
Joxer: [to the bald guy] ... "Cover your tab."
Bald Man: "You should talk, Joxer, you deadbeat 30!"
Bidder #2: "35 Dinars!"
Joxer: "65 Dinars! Sold!" [grabs the scroll and runs]


Meg: "Wait a minute. You spent my nest egg on a lousy piece of parchment?"
Joxer: "Please, Meg, it's Gabrielle's last scroll. Maybe it explains what she and Xena were doing."
Meg: "Xena and Gabrielle are gone. When are ya gonna accept that?"

Young Boy: "Is that a story about the Harpies, Daddy?"
Joxer: "No, it's, uh well, it's a story about a beautiful warrior princess [to his daughter] You want to hear a story about a beautiful warrior princess? Okay."


Joxer: "'Her celebrations at Thebes in Egypt were cut short, because Xena, the mighty Warrior Princess, fought both night and day for the life of her newborn child, as she continues to sing the rage of her Olympian foes. Their ceaseless battles finally drove her to the Fates in search of answers '"

Xena: "I hope you don't mind, we were in the neighborhood."
Maiden Fate: "The Fates always welcome you here, Xena. We are pleasantly surprised."
Xena: "Finding your kid topping Olympus' most wanted makes you do some pretty surprising things. This is one of them."

Girl Fate: "You wish to speak of your child. Your child, Xena --"
Crone Fate: "Will bring forth the Twilight, and usher in a new beginning."
Xena: "Yes, I heard. I was hoping you could humor me with a date."
Maiden Fate: "The Twilight will occur in time."
Xena: "That's not very specific."
Girl Fate: "The time depends on you, Xena."
Xena: "It's me that determines when the Twilight begins? How?"
Crone Fate: "You must die, Xena."
Girl Fate: "Only in the essence of death will the child find salvation and the Twilight be set in motion. Until then, a storm without end lies in your path and hers."
Gabrielle: "You're saying the sooner Xena dies, the faster Eve brings about the fall of the gods?"

Gabrielle: "Xena, let's go Hey, what are you doing? You're not listening to them? Xena, you have always said we determine our own fate. It's not written for us. You've always believed that."
Xena: "I still believe that, Gabrielle. So do they. It's the only way. I have to die, Gabrielle."


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