Gabrielle: (to a very cranky baby) "Come on, Eve … Come on, Eve. … Who's your favorite auntie? Gabby! … Xena will be back any minute, I promise. She's just grabbing a quick bath … Come on, hush, hush, hush, hush, now … I'll give you a dinar … I'll give you five dinars … Oh, please!"
Xena: "Alright, Sweetheart, mama's here."
Gabrielle: "Xena, I can't figure out what's wrong with her."
Xena: "Babies cry, Gabrielle. It's just a fact of life … (Eve finally stops crying) … I'm her mother."
Gabrielle: "You're a natural. I thought I was, but I lost my touch."
Xena: "Nah, you're great with kids."
Gabrielle: "Xena, I don't have to patience to even raise my own."
Joxer: "Come and get it !!!"
Joxer: "What? It's not sleeping, is it? Here's the grub for the spud."
Xena: "What's this?!"
Joxer: "You asked for baby food."
Xena: "Baby back ribs are not baby food, Joxer."
Gabrielle: "Eve doesn't have teeth. How is she supposed to tear meat from the bone?"
Joxer: "What, she doesn't have hands?"
Gabrielle: "You. Me. Town. Now."
Pirate: "She love me … she loves me not … she loves me … she loves me not …"
Discord: "You've crossed the line for the last time. That pirate that you turned into a love-sick idiot, I had big plans for him."
Aphrodite: "All I did was give him a slight attitude adjustment."
Discord: "By cutting off his …"
Aphrodite: "Alright, it's time someone washed your mouth out with soap."
Discord: "Uggh! You're dead Bimbolina!" - starts shooting fireballs at Aphrodite."
Joxer: "What's going on?!"
*** Discord continues to shoot fireballs at Aphrodite until one goes astray and loosens a large pulley and knocks Gabrielle upside her pretty blond head.
Hagar: (who happens to look exactly like a certain bumbling Joxer) "Are you okay?"
Gabrielle: "Where am I?"
Hagar: "You took a nasty spill."
Gabrielle: "I don't remember … anything. Not - not this place - not - not you -- not -- (notices that she now sports a big fin instead of legs) my legs! My legs! What happened to my legs?!"
Hagar: "Just - you know, fins when you're in the water, legs when you're out. You don't remember anything, do you?"
Hagar: "Total amnesia … that's perfect … ly awful. The kids and I were worried sick."
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