Animal Attraction
- Page 3 -

A love-free zone? ... no wonder she's so cranky
Xena: "It's impossible! I cannot be pregnant! If you weren't such a quack, you would know that getting pregnant involves certain physical requirements that I haven't met in a long time! And I mean a very long time! No one. Zilch. Zippo. I am a love-free zone. Therefore, it is utterly impossible that I be 'up the duff'! So, what's your diagnosis now?"
Healer: "Mood swings."


Joxer: "Gabrielle! Gabrielle, wait up! Let me help you."
Gabrielle: "I can carry a sack of apples."
Joxer: "I know you can, but why should you?"
Gabrielle: "Joxer, thank you, it's al--"
Joxer: "No no. Gabrielle, look, with me around to handle the smaller and more indispensable aspects of life, that leaves you to handle the larger and more important ones."
Gabrielle: "No. I can handle my own apples."
Joxer: "Let me help you. You might like it."
Gabrielle: "I don't think so."
Joxer: "Gimme!"
Gabrielle: "Stop it!"
Joxer: "I'm going to help you."
Gabrielle: "Joxer, get your hands off my apples!"


C'mon.  Here you go, boy.
Gabrielle: "C'mon. Here you go, boy. Come on, it's an apple. I know you're hungry. I know it. Come on ... come on, I'm your friend. Argo, will you tell him I'm not going to hurt him ... fine -- if that's your attitude you can just take it when you want it. I'm talking to horses. Am I nuts?"
Armon: "Certifiable."

Gabrielle: "Armon!"
Armon: "Joxer said I'd find you here."
Gabrielle: "Amarise was right, it is you."
Armon: "Amarise?"
Gabrielle: "What's going on with you two?"
Armon: "She's insane. All I did was laugh a little when she slipped."
Gabrielle: "You laughed at her?"
Armon: "Yeah, it was funny and she wasn't hurt."
Gabrielle: "Her pride was hurt."

Gabrielle: "Think about if you fell in front of your whole school. Would you laugh?"
Armon: "I see your point. So what do I do to make it up to her?"
Gabrielle: "Flowers. You can't go wrong with flowers."
Armon: "Flowers?"
Gabrielle: "Yes, women love flowers ... except Xena. She's the only woman I know who doesn't stop to smell them."

Stopping to smell the flowers?
Xena: "Aw, so widdle cutie, I --"

Armon: "You know, I think you're right. Maybe Amarise and I just got off on the wrong foot. I'll do that. Hey, uh, thanks for the advice."
Gabrielle: "Wrong foot ... hm."


We're equals now
Gabrielle: "Look familiar? Pretty painful, huh? Whew, boy! No, it's not a nice feeling. Yeah, I know what you're going through. It's tough -- tough on a horse. We're equals now, though. You know that. You can trust me now, horse ... forget it."


Talia: "It's not that I don't appreciate your offer -- I do."
Xena: "Then why don't you accept a little help?"
Talia: "Because this is my problem, not yours."
Xena: "You're wrong. Fighting men like Darcon is everybody's problem ... especially mine."
Talia: "Not this time."

Xena: "So, what makes Darcon different from every other scum-sucking warlord?"
Talia: "He's my husband."
Xena: "Condolences."

Talia: "I don't love him, not anymore, but I did. And now ... I'm afraid ... of him ... and me."
Xena: "Talia ... this must end here. Face it, you're going to need a little help. That's what I'm here for."
Talia: "No! Now, I stand up to Darcon or I don't -- but either way, I am not going to let you take him on for me ... especially pregnant."

Wake up and smell the diapers
Talia: "Oh, come on! Who's kidding herself now -- the need for sleep, the cravings, the nausea? Hey, not to mention you're looking a little ... my mother was a midwife, Xena. Wake up and smell the diapers."


Barkeep: "What'll it be?"
Xena: "Milk."
Barkeep: "Milk?"
Xena: "I said MILK! What am I, over age?"

Amarise: "Xena, I've been looking all over for you. I think I'm in trouble."
Xena: "What, is it in the water?"
Amarise: "Huh? I'm talking about Armon."
Xena: "What about him?"
Amarise: "Well ... seem that's the trouble. Every Amazon instinct I have says ‘keep away,' but my heart just says ‘go for it.' Have you ever had this problem before?"
Xena: "Apparently."

Xena: "Listen, Amarise, either you kiss him or you kill him, but either way it doesn't seem to make a difference."

Can anyone say 'mood swings'?
Armon: "Xena! How have you been?"
Xena: "You hurt her, Armon, I will have your hide!"

Armon: "Hi."
Amarise: "Hi. What are those?"
Armon: "A way to start over ... I hope. These are for you."
Amarise: "For me? Wow. Nobody's ever given me anything like this before."
Armon: "I'm surprised. You deserve them.
Amarise: "I do?"
Armon: "And more. You deserve someone who will really appreciate you -- a man who'll protect and pamper you."
Amarise: "A man to protect me?"
Armon: "Make sure you never have to worry ... or be scared."
Amarise: "You think I'm scared of you?"
Armon: "No. No -- that's not what I said."
Amarise: "That's what you meant!"
Armon: "No, it isn't."
Amarise: "You calling me a liar?!"
Armon: "Are you telling me what I said?!"
Amarise: "I know what I heard!"
Armon: "Liar!"
*** Major lip-lock ensues ...


Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5

Season 5 Menu

Home Page